As The Strangest Invitations I Ever Got via Online Freelancing Sites Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 have gotten quite a bit of attention among online freelancers since I first wrote those in 2019, many have sent me descriptions of their experiences with dangerous clients on Upwork.
These experiences resulted in an extension to the original 7 stereotypically bad client types that I draw from my personal experiences of freelancing online:
- The Flash: The project is simply unfeasible in practical terms, usually timeline, and the client is too busy to take care of anything, for example explaining at least some of the requirements before the project start.
- The Delegator: The client doesn’t realize the project should not be outsourced to anyone in the first place, he just got it all wrong in utmost desperation.
- Doctor Strange: The client is simply too strange to get to know even as a casual business contact. Eject, now!
- The Shopper: One of the most common types, who seem to assume freelancers work for free or close to it. Therefore, the name … right?
- The Lawyer: Very common client type who asks you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before even talking to you.
- The Googler: The client has no idea of how to use any search engine effectively and does not bother finding out how these freelance sites work, but, paradoxically, paying just about anyone is not a problem.
- The Scammer: The client is not trying to get good work done cheap, he is trying to skip paying altogether. These can be highly professional players in the freelance ecosystem on the wrong side of the law (and the service’s user agreements).
Let’s take a look at what my LinkedIn buddies suggested as an extension to this already-long list of bad and dangerous clients on Upwork.
The Exploiter
The Exploiter is a bit similar to both The Shopper and The Scammer, with a slight variation. The difference to The Shopper is that the Exploiter has no intention of paying anything at all.
And the difference to The Scammer is that The Exploiter breaks no rules, technically. Or he does something that is a borderline case in the eyes of the freelance site admins, thus, facing no consequences.
So, it’s a fine art, although a very questionable one!
The Exploiter by Orji Chinaecherem.
One common trick is to not ask for free work but to trick the freelancer, typically a new freelancer, to think the contract has started whereas there is no contract in the first place. Alternatively, ask for free samples specific to the job. Only the latter case might get The Exploiter banned from the platform.
The All-knowing
This is a particularly nasty one. It’s the kind of client who tells you exactly how everything should be done and how long it should take. There’s no way to work with such clients. :-/
The All-knowing by Beatrice Omoh.
I remember having only one experience of a preliminary discussion with someone about a job that was (by default, as everything I do) quite difficult. Yet, the client was sure it wouldn’t take more than a month.
We didn’t sign any contract. 🙂
The Ghoster
This is perhaps the most common type of bad client that you wish you had business with but you won’t. Because they ghosted you.
I hear this happens a lot to many freelancers. Particularly to those who work in highly competed domains. Getting ghosted is familiar to almost everyone.
The Ghoster by Abdulrasheed Girigisu.
What does a typical Ghoster do? Talks to you with all kinds of good signs of getting a project going. Then, nothing. Typically the ghosting happens after you’ve talked things through, have a budget agreed upon, and things are supposed to start.
But it won’t. Because they ghosted you.
It’s only the level of ghosting that varies. Ghost all or ghost just a few freelancers.
The Tortoise
The Tortoise is an interesting client type, but not very pleasant for the freelancer. Yet, there isn’t any harm done, just that the feeling left about the project and the client is quite negative.
The Tortoise by Shaheera Shahid.
Eventually, after doing everything well and getting a review for work well done, it’s the delay in just about everything that makes working with these clients so painful.
Not recommended even if you got one.
The Imposter
One of the most peculiar bad client types is The Imposter. It’s the guy who promises all kinds of things that you get your hands on, support for, or something like this. Purposely giving a false impression of the work, your role in it, or tools you would get access to at the client’s expense before locking you in with a contract.
Once the contract is signed, the truth is revealed: “There’s no spoon,” so to say.
The Imposter by Jonathan Haas.
I didn’t realize it at first, but I think I might have met one or two of these kinds. Once upon a time, I was invited to a job on Upwork by someone claiming to be a startup founder who needed someone senior to guide them through the first steps of their product development efforts. It sounded like my kind of thing!
Unfortunately, it got clear that instead of being an actual startup with a good idea and the ability to raise some serious funding, these guys were a new spin-off of a non-profit company. I concluded the discussion with my default rejection: “Thank you for the offer, but I think there is a little type. The budget is missing a zero.” 😉
The Mafioso
Then, there is another classic category of dangerous, truly dangerous clients: The Mafioso!
The Mafioso by Rinaldy Ardana Harahap.
The Mafioso is playing it nicely all the way up to giving great feedback and a nice 5-star review. But, squeezes you to give a full refund after everything else is settled!
The worst kind of Mafioso is the one who does all of the above but instead of asking for a refund just tells their bank to do a chargeback.
So many dangerous clients on Upwork… where do we go from here?
We don’t! We just skip them all, hahah! That is the point!
Now, our extended list of bad and dangerous clients on Upwork is completed with 13 quite awful types:
- The Flash
- The Delegator
- Doctor Strange
- The Shopper
- The Lawyer
- The Googler
- The Scammer
- The Exploiter
- The All-knowing
- The Ghoster
- The Tortoise
- The Imposter
- The Mafioso
The list is long enough. I think we online freelancers will do just fine from now on. 😉 For inspiration, check out how to get only the right kinds of clients from the start: How to Start Freelancing and Make It to the Global Top – My First Year on Upwork.
